Suntem la fel și, totuși, diferiți

Zilele acestea “Un microbuz plin cu colete a fost jefuit lângă satul Buțeni. Acesta a fost atacat de către trei indivizi cu cagule pe cap. Șoferul microbuzului a fost bătut și jefuit.”, iar reacția cititorilor “Asta e Moldova, nu mă miră”. Și dacă acolo nu te mai uimește nimic, aici, se face curând un deceniu în care mă tot mir. De unitățile de masură sau greutate nestandarte și de gradele lor fahrenheit, m-am mirat la început, dar nu atât de mult încât sa le și folosesc, vorba lui Emilian Crețu “Poți scoate orice dintr-un moldovean, dar moldoveanul din el, niciodată”.

Și cum să nu te miri, cînd un milionar stă în același rând cu tine la casă, îmbrăcat într-un tricou decolorat, dar vesel și plin de viață ca un adolescent? Sau cum să nu te mire gestul, necerut în scris nicăieri, de a șterge aparatele de sport după ce au fost folosite, drept act de curtoazie pentru următorul utilizator? Cum să nu îngheți de emoție, când de la primele acorduri ale imnului, masele de oameni amuțesc și își duc mîinile la inimă cu mândrie și respect? Stai și clipești din ochi și fără să vrei te gândești “aha, exact ca în Moldova”.

Nu spun că America e o țară fără de vagabonzi, că polițiștii nu fac abuz de putere sau că în școli și biserici nu se împușcă oameni nevinoveți, vorbesc despre lucrurile mărunte, care puse unul lângă altul, schimbă întreg peisajul.

Din observațiile de pâna acum, am facut o paralelă între ai lor și ai noștri, care a ieșit cam așa:

Americanii își iubesc tara, iar aceasta e o dragoste reciprocă – Moldovenii nu pot iubi, pentru că nu primesc nici puțin respect.

Ei se simt onorați când sunt înrolați în Armată și merg orbește în razboaie care nu-i privesc – noi scoatem certificate medicale că nu suntem apți de Armată, doar să fugim de un an în care trebuie să paști capre, să mături străzi sau să devii constructor pentru vreun șef.

Ei își pun cel puțin un drapel la ușă în semn de admirație și respect – noi avem doar un drapel pe Primarie, pe care îndrăznesc să îl fure unii și să îl fâlfîie la beție în semn de ”mare ispravă”.

Ei își ornamentează casele la fiecare sarbatoare din abundență – noi avem un bradut pe care îl împodobim cu jucăriile de dinaintea anilor ’90.

Ei se căsătoresc când sunt pregătiți moral și financiar, de regulă la 30-35 ani – noi la 30 suntem obosiți deja de 10 ani de construit case și sărăieșe, de crescut copii și de alergat prin străinătăți cu alt scop decât cel de a le vizita.

Mulți dintre ei renunță la ideea de a avea copii, pentru că a avea copil implică multă resposabilitate și sume enorme pâna la a-i pune pe proprii picioare – ai noștri fac copii mulți, mai ales cuplurile care nu se mai trezesc din beție.

Copiii lor se odihnesc pe maluri de Ocean – copii noștri se odihnesc la bunici la țară, prășind, facând tizîc și având grijă de gospodărie.

Ei sună la poliție dacă suspectează că vecinul a dat o palmă la fund propriului copil – la noi unde bate mama, crește.

Bărbații lor își laudă soțiile că au ales o bonă sau o menajeră bună – bărbații noștri nici nu își dau seama că a avea grijă de casă și de copii, după orele de lucru, sunt servicii aparte.

Ei își aleg cu minuțiozitate facultatea pe care o urmează – noi mergem acolo unde suma contractului e mai mică.

Ei au salarii care le permit să pună deoparte – noi avem salarii care nu acoperă cheltuielile lunare.

La ei se dă câștig de cauză pentru stăpânii unei pisici, care nu au găsit în instrucția de folosire a microundei, paragraful în care se spune că pisicile nu se usucă în aceasta – noi nu suntem îndreptățiți nici dacă am fost accidentați pe zebră.

Pentru ei lux înseamnă să deție 2 mașini per membru de familie – pentru noi lux e să ai măcar una, pentru toată familia.

Ei își permit intervenții cirurgicale de mii de dolari pentru un cîine sau o pisică – noi ne permitem o consultație medicală atunci când durerile ajung insuportabile.

Ei trăiesc după regulile societății încă de pe băncile școlii – noi, trăim după regulile fiecărui șefuleț, pe care trebuie să îl suporți dacă vrei salariu.

Ei îți zâmbesc cu sau fără treabă – moldovenii fără motiv pot să te trimită undeva.

Ei pun bani deoparte, ca măcar odată în an, să meargă undeva să se odihnească – noi punem bani deoparte pentru o nouă reparație, pentru noi draperii, pentru soba mutată cu un metru mai în colo.

Ei construiesc case din materiale ușoare, repede, ieftin – noi construim o casă 10 ani, trainică, cu pereți cărora le trebuiesc o pădure în sobă ca să o încălzească.

Ei bat cuiele la gardul din grădină spre exterior, ca în grădină să arate gardul frumos – la noi trebuie să fie ochiul vecinului satisfăcut.

Ei au ore de primire pe care le stabilești online sau la telefon – noi avem cozi interminabile, în care poți sta zile la rând fără să ajungi la ușa la care ai nevoie.

Ei au bonuri de casă, cu ajutorul cărora poți întoarce orice produs care nu ți-a plăcut – nouă ni se dă bonul cerut împreună cu o privire pe care nu vrei să o vezi a doua oară.

Ei își permit să iasă în stradă îmbrăcați în haine de casă sau în pijama dacă le e comod – noi, o să ne sfiim să ieșim a doua zi în aceeași haină și de multe ori nici pijamaua nu ne e comodă, în schimb e tare delicată.

Ei nu prea îi iubesc pe imigranți – noi am acceptat, ori suntem urâți de toți, ori murim de foame la noi în țară.

Ei știu că în cea mai rea situație, Statul o să aibă grijă de ei – noi știm că a te lăsa pe mîinile Statului, înseamnă a nu mai avea nici o șansă.

Noi avem Anul Nou cu Albe ca Zapada, Iepurași, Vulpi și Ursuleți – ei au Halloween-ul cu schelete, Babe Cloanțe, fantome, Vampiri, sicrie, dulciuri în formă de degete, mîini, picioare și capete tăiate.

Noi mergem din casă în casă să spunem “Să trăiți, să înfloriți” – ei merg de la ușă la ușă să sperie.

Noi avem o relație aparte cu părinții pe tot parcursul vieții – ei sunt reci în relații cu toți.

Noi cunoaștem cel puțin 2 limbi și însușim orice limbă de care avem nevoie – ei puțini care cunosc o a doua limbă.

Noi avem femei care știu a coase, croșeta, țese, împleti – ei văd lucrurile confecționate manual în muzee și magazinele specializate.

Noi ne preparăm mâncarea acasă și ne facem sărbătoare ieșind la un restaurant/pizzarie/cafenea – ei fac eveniment din gătitul mesei de Ziua Recunostinței acasă.

Noi considerăm vecinii un fel de rude și le sărim în ajutor la nevoie – ei rar cunosc numele vecinilor de peste perete.

Noi avem, în unica mașină, un cablu metalic, gata să remorcăm pe oricine blocat pe marginea drumului – mașinile lor sunt remorcate doar contra plată (cam un salariu mediu MD).

Noi ne pregătim de sărbători cu 1,2 săptămâni înainte – ei scot la vânzare costumele de baie după Anul Nou și jucăriile pentru brad la începutul toamnei.

Dar avem și tangențe:
Noi avem rușii, care nu vor sa ne învețe limba – ei îi au pe mexicani.

Ei plătesc toată viața ratele la case, mașini, tehnica, etc. – noi plătim toată viața datoriile de luna trecută.

Noi avem 8 Martie – ei au Ziua Mamei (care nu e pe 8).

Ei au Ziua Tatălui – noi avem 23 februarie, care nu are nimic cu majoritatea bărbaților, dar e sărbătorită de toți.

Ei îl au pe Santa Claus – noi îl avem pe Moș Crăciun, care vine, dacă vine, nu la Craciun ci la Anul Nou.

Unii din ei pot trăi o viață întreagă în case închiriate – și noi putem.

Paradoxuri:
În unele magazine, poți procura haine noi la preț mai mic decît hainele de mâna a doua vândute în piețele din RM.

Multe produse alimentare sunt mai ieftine decât în Moldova.

Perfectarea actelor costă considerabil mai puțin.

Un transfer monetar din Statele Unite către Moldova costă 12.50$ pentru 1500$, invers – 10$ per fiecare 100$.

Vreau să fiu contrazisă, să mi se spună că exagerez, că timp de un deceniu lucrurile s-au schimbat și o să am motiv de a mă mira frumos când ajung data viitoare în Moldova…

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