Dragă bărbate

Tu ești mai slab decât vrei sa pari. Ai la fel de multe sentimente și te doare la fel de mult. Nimeni nu îți știe neliniștile, pentru că în concepția ta, a-ți spune of-urile înseamnă slăbiciune. Pe tine nu te vede nimeni când plângi, dar des învinuiești svarka sau curentul că ți-au înroșit ochii. Tu ești arătat drept exemplu că, în lipsa soției, conservezi dulcețuri, murături și salate, dar ești încrezut că “ale Verei îs mai gustoase“. Tu ești la fel de îngrijorat dacă skype-ul nu sună într-o zi și, la fel de implicat în dialog, chiar dacă stai în spatele calculatorului și spui ceva ce nu se aude clar.

Tu tot aștepti.
Aștepți să apărem online. Aștepți să îți intre în ogradă nepoții. Aștepți trenul să îți aducă soția. Aștepți rutiera să trimiți un colet. Aștepți să mai treacă un an, ca poate  să poți aștepta un avion. Aștepți timpul aratului, semănatului, prășitului, strânsului. Aștepți salariul minuscul luni de zile. Aștepți un nou președinte. Aștepți sărbătorile, pentru că atunci înțelegi că este sens în ceea ce faci, pentru că în casă ai mai mulți copii, mai mulți nepoți și mai puține griji.

Tu zâmbești rar, pentru că un bărbat trebuie să fie serios. Vorbești puțin. Nu ceri nimic. Nu spui că iubești…
Prima dată când ți-am înțeles dragostea, nu te vedeai din fum de bostănei prăjiți, transpirat, nervos că i-ai tăiat prea subțiri, lângă un lighean maaare că puteai îndestula toată mahalaua, dar bucuros că îți vine fata de la liceu.
Nu ai spus niciodată că ești mândru de succesele noastre, dar erai mereu în primul rând la concertele improvizate de noi în aer liber și băteai cel mai tare din palme.
Nu mi-ai spus niciodată că nu îți place o fustă sau un maiou prea scurt cu care ieșeam la discotecă, dar a doua zi în ele pisai piper negru boabe sau făceai cordele.

Poate nu ne-ai îmbrățișat și nu ne-ai sărutat frunțile atât de des de câte ori ți-ai dorit, dar am primit câte o sărutare în fiecare pachețel cu mâncare, legat în multe noduri, trimis la ore matinale la gară.

Tu mai continui să faci pachețele și pui în ele atâta dor și dragoste încât nu le poți lega nodurile.

Poate nu ne-ai dăruit cadourile și lucrurile pe care ai fi vrut să le dăruiești, dar ne-ai dăruit fericirea de a crește într-o familie în care se respectă, se are încredere și se ia apărarea.
Când m-ai văzut plângând și cu brațul înroșit, nu m-ai întrebat ce s-a întâmplat, m-ai întrebat “cine?” și ai alergat, desculță, să îl prinzi. N-am crezut niciodată că poți fi atât de furios și că poți alerga atât de repede.

Poate și râde lumea când te vede că, mare fiind, stai în genunchi și culegi flori de romaniță, dar tu le culegi cu acuratețe și le vezi cum trec ilegal frontiera, iar nepoții beau ceai cu gust de Moldova și devin mai sănătoși.
Tu nu știi câtă valoare e în fiecare floricică…

Azi, când ziua întreagă interzic copiilor să facă câte ceva, ma mir de unde luai putere să nu zici niciodată NU.

Tu ești atât de dulce când scrișnești din dinți la plivit florile mămicăi sau, când cedezi bucăți de grădină pentru frumusețe în defavoarea legumelor.
Tu ești atât de dulce când îți distrezi nepoții la ecran cu iepurași, cîinișori, bobocei sau rățuște.
Tu ești atât de dulce când te bucuri sincer de micile atenții dăruite de copii și le porți ca pe adevarate trofee.
Tu ești atât de dulce când un păhăruț de vin te face sentimental și îți permite să spui mai multe decât ai spune într-un an întreg.

Tu ești atât de dulce când ești slab, chiar dacă încerci din răsputeri să te arăți puternic.

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20 thoughts on “Dragă bărbate

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